Do you have excessive stress and anxiety getting in the way of your day-to-day functioning?
Do you lack the confidence to handle challenges that come your way?
Do you find that you numb out or dissociate or don't feel like yourself?
Or do you find yourself being unreasonably irritated with people, including your colleagues and the people you love the most?
If you find any of these to be accurate, I can help you understand why.
The answer lies in your nervous system.
This fantastic system links the body to the brain and the brain to the body. It's a bi-directional two-way highway.
A healthy nervous system has a large window of resilience, and we sail through the ups and downs in life. We will have times we go into fight/flight response, but we will come back down and continue.
But, most of us have more dysregulated nervous systems– meaning we have a smaller window and therefore smaller capacity to deal with life's stressors which can cause us to be in a state of fight, flight, or freeze. You are probably wondering how does this dysregulation happen. It can be part genetics – traumatic stress passed down from our ancestors or stressors during our first three years of life when the foundation was formed. In addition, stressors later in life like being bullied, accidents, surgeries, pandemics, and a host of other things can overwhelm our system.
When our nervous system is stuck in fight/flight – what I call defense mode - our body is in a state of high alert. If this high activation is constant, we will either experience a continuous charge of stress hormones or go into freeze. Often both – a feeling of disconnection from ourselves or others with an underlying tsunami.
I have good news! You can increase your nervous system's capacity so that you can weather the storms in life, just like a house built on a solid foundation that is standing through earthquakes and floods.
Somatic experiencing is a body-based approach to healing traumatic stress in the nervous system.
Somatic Experiencing has helped my coaching clients far more than any of the other tools and techniques combined. It has changed my life, and it is changing the lives of my clients.
If you feel overwhelmed, overly anxious, or don't feel like yourself, there is an explanation.
When your nervous system is in defense mode –stuck in fight/flight, your prefrontal cortex goes offline. That's not good because that part of your brain is responsible for executive functioning--including our ability to plan, organize and set goals. Without it engaged, we can't problem-solve, focus, pay attention or even be creative.
With a regulated nervous system, you will:
Think and create with crystal clear focus
Be more productive
Not be afraid to step into the next challenge
If you find yourself easily irritated, here's what's happening in your brain:
Our prefrontal cortex also regulates our emotions and social-relational abilities. Again, when it's offline because we are in defense mode, we tend to get irritated and easily annoyed, and we might find ourselves saying things we later regret. Or being around people feels exhausting and unsafe.
When we increase our nervous system's capacity, we will feel more relaxed and at ease around others and listen, engage in meaningful conversations and be open and flexible; We will also parent with greater ease.
Remember, your dysregulated nervous system doesn't have to stay that way. No matter how you got here, you can increase your capacity by somatic experiencing sessions to help rewire your system from the ground up.
In groups and one-on-one sessions, we take a few minutes to feel our emotions somatically—it's a game-changer. You can practice being somatically aware by a simple four-step process. You can remember it by using the acronym SOAR.
SENSE: turning your attention inward and become aware of the sensations in your body such as muscle tension, breath, tingling in your legs, butterflies in your stomach, or a lump in your throat. As you draw attention to those areas, they tend to amplify, and they also move and change.
OBSERVE: is to sit in awareness of body sensations without judging them. It is to notice and accept what is happening in your body as it is happening, without pushing it away. So often, we try to avoid or numb our sensations because they are uncomfortable or because we think they are bad and we shouldn't be having them.
ARTICULATE: To articulate your sensations means to describe them. It is to put into words the experience of the felt sense you observe. This helps slow things down, often making them less intense and overwhelming. It's best to articulate what you are feeling with another person or a group of people. You can also write them down.
REFLECT: As you notice your sensations, what thoughts, emotions, and memories come to mind? What do you notice in your body as you reflect?
As we become more comfortable with feeling all of the sensations in our body, we have more capacity and confidence, knowing we can tolerate whatever comes our way. This also helps us to get more in touch with our emotions so that we can share them with others and deepen our relationships.
Imagine thinking clearly with a sense of focus and purpose, getting the most important things done knowing that you are genuinely making a difference in this world.
And imagine truly enjoying people, including your kids, spouse, and friends.
Imagine having the capacity and resiliency to handle whatever comes your way.
With a better regulated nervous system, you can.
"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott