Have you ever had items on your to-do list for weeks or even months? Are you frustrated for not getting around to creating a fulfilling life for yourself? You are not alone. According to a study conducted by Darius Foroux, 88% of us report procrastinating regularly.
Why do we procrastinate when we know it doesn't serve us? According to Dr. Tim Psycle, the author of the book The Procrastination Puzzle, we procrastinate to avoid unpleasant feelings. And putting things off does make us feel better. At least temporarily. But there is a cost. In the long run, it leads to stress and guilt and can cause us to put our lives on hold.
Let's start with three common myths about procrastination:
Myth 1: I will feel like it tomorrow.
Chances are you will never feel like doing it. There are some things you have to do to achieve your uncomfortable goals. You can do something now even if you don't feel like it. As you act, your motivation will change. Not the other way around.
Myth 2: It's not a big deal if I put off this important task for another day.
When we are putting things off, we think that our future self is some stranger that is good with whatever we leave for her. We need to get clear that we are our future selves, and she is not going to be happy with you when she has to scramble last minute to complete that project. Or she is going to have regret when she wakes up and years have passed, and she has not accomplished the things that would have given her life meaning and value.
Myth 3: I have always been a procrastinator, and I can't change.
You can change! Some of us indeed have personality traits that make us more likely to procrastinate, but all of us can shift away from unhelpful patterns. In my work as a life coach and counselor, I see people make lasting changes all of the time. The latest research in neuroscience shows we can change pathways in our brain at any age.
Here are three steps you can take today to get the essential things in your life done without delay. They are the 3 A's: Awareness, Action, and Accountability.
1-Awareness -It's essential to stop and become aware of what you are feeling and thinking when you keep putting off an important task.
For example, I had planned to give a speech for my toastmaster's group and I kept putting it off. When I finally explored what was going on inside me regarding the delay in delivering my speech, I noticed a big knot in my stomach and a tightening in my chest. I identified the emotions as fear of humiliation and overwhelm.
Then I got out a pen and paper and wrote out every thought I had about the speech. Here's a few of them:
-I don't have a topic, and it must be ultra-inspiring
-I am not a good writer, and I need to organize my thoughts perfectly.
-I will never be as good of a speaker as so many in our group.
Wow! I can't believe that was all inside my head. No wonder I had been putting it off for so long. Then I reminded myself that I don't need to be perfect and that I will improve the more I practice.
Checking back in with my emotions, I still had a bit of a knot in my stomach, but I knew I could tolerate the uncomfortableness and move forward.
2nd step is Action
This step is simple - Just get started. Ask yourself: "If I were to do this task, what would be the next action?" If you are not sure what to do, break the project into subtasks and begin on one right then and there. For the speech, I started with an outline and then just kept going. It didn't take long. Why was I putting it off for so long?
3rd step is Accountability
This might mean telling a friend or partner what you want to accomplish and asking them to hold you accountable—or working together with a friend on unpleasant tasks—or hiring a life coach. I can help you clarify your values and goals to be spending your time on what is most important to you. I can also help you break down tasks into clear action steps.
The next time you find yourself thinking, "I will do it tomorrow," I invite you to bring in the 3 A's: Awareness, Action, and Accountability. This will make a big difference in your life.