I think most of us are feeling fear right now to varying degrees.
It’s understandable. We need fear. It is designed to keep us safe. But, as we are bombarded with constant threats it’s easy for us to get hijacked by a fear that gets our system stuck in fight, flight or freeze survival mechanisms, causing us to be overly anxious with thoughts of catastrophe or a sense of hopelessness.
I am going to share with you a few of the tips I have learned in my training in somatic experiencing, a body based trauma therapy, on what we can start doing today that can help calm and regulate our nervous systems so that we can make it through this time period with resiliency, strength and hope for the future.
First, Orient to Your five Senses– this feeds information to our lower brain letting it know we are in the present moment and we are okay.
Orienting is a simple yet effective practice.
To orient, start with noticing the sensations of your feet. Can you feel them touching the ground? And can you feel your chair supporting you? How about your hands? Notice what else you feel in your body.
Now let your eyes explore and let them go where they want to go. What do you see? Take a minute or so and see what your eyes are naturally drawn to.
What do you hear? Are there sounds you haven’t noticed before?
What do you smell and taste?
Be curious about what you are noticing and feeling in your body as you are orienting to each one of your senses.
I recommend doing this orienting exercise a few times a day as a way to stay in the present moment. Now, if you are feeling activated, you might want to do this throughout the day and even speak out loud what you are noticing. Ideally, find places out in nature to walk while you are orienting as exercise is another key component to nervous system regulation.
The second way we can calm our nervous system is to:
Savor the Good
This is not to ignore the bad or to disassociate from our emotions – we need to feel and process them all. We can be experiencing sadness and at the same time we can be intentional about savoring the good.
We need to begin by having lots of activities that foster good feelings so we can savor them. For me it’s book club, devotionals, holy yoga classes, family game nights, paddle boarding, care calls and groups and A LOT of walks. Make sure you have activities with others even if it’s by phone or video. It’s amazing how close we can feel to others from afar. Then ask yourself regularly: “What is going well in my life right now,” or “How is God showing up?”
Another way to savor the good is to go back to our 5 senses:
After we have experienced “what is” we can go back around and notice what in our five senses bring us pleasure:
Can we notice what feels good in our body? Can we feel our clothes or blanket against our skin? The cool breeze or warm sun? Feel the warm water as you are washing your hands.
We can go out in nature and soak in the sights, sounds, and smells and see what we are drawn toward and what we appreciate.
When we eat we can really enjoy our food. Especially when there was a time when we didn’t know how much would be available. Or we might light a candle with a scent that makes us feel calm.
Right now our systems need a moment-to-moment gratitude practice. Start when you wake up in the morning and continue to name things you are grateful for until you hit the pillow. This intentional practice (and limiting news exposure) will make a big difference in your state.
Another way we can calm our nervous system is through our:
Imagination:
Your lower brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Spend time each day imagining yourself in a beautiful location. What do you see, hear, smell and feel? Imagine yourself with people that bring you a sense of comfort and joy. As you are remembering positive emotions from the past, what are you feeling in your body now? Take all of the time you need to feel the pleasant emotions.
Another way to bring in the good is to place your right hand under your left armpit and your left hand on your right shoulder. As you are doing this, close your eyes and give yourself compassion for all that you have been going through and thank yourself for all of your goodness. This brings the “feel good hormones” oxytocin and dopamine to your brain.
The final and most important tip for calming our nervous systems is to foster
Vulnerable Connections on a regular basis. We are hardwired to connect so nothing disregulates our nervous systems more than isolation.
To be honest, I had a few really tough days this week. I was trying to be strong for everyone else, yet inside I felt like I was falling apart. Then I had an unexpected 2-hour conversation with a friend. I shared with her that I was struggling. She didn’t try to fix it – she just listened as I poured out my emotions. By the next morning, I was back on track. The added bonus of working on our own nervous systems is that we can have a positive impact on the people in our lives. Be intentional about finding people you can talk to vulnerably. In addition to members of your household, find safe people you can talk to on the phone or online. Let them know you just need to be heard and listened to. And then be that person for others. We don’t need to be fixed or given advice. We need an opportunity for our feelings and emotions to be felt and processed. That can make all of the difference.
These are tough times so we must be intentional about keeping our nervous systems regulated by orienting to our five senses, savoring the good and vulnerably connecting. I know it’s difficult to believe now, but this time period won’t last forever. With a regulated nervous system we can set goals and intentions for ourselves for who we want to become. The world is going to need you to be the best version of yourself - now more than ever!